Dear Parishioners,
During Lent, many of us make time to go to confessions (also known as reconciliation or penance) because we are all required to go to confession at least once a year and it fits the penitential character of this holy season. But, I also know there are people so intimidated by the sacrament that they avoid it or put it off. In order to help people and to encourage them to come to this great sacrament of forgiveness, I would like to offer some practical instruction so that you can feel more comfortable going to confession.
When is confession offered? All year round, confession is offered on Saturdays after the 4 pm Mass. (usually at about 5 pm.) During Lent, I also offer confession after all the daily Masses and on April 4th I will be hearing confessions during adoration time at about 4:30 pm. All these confessions will be heard in the confessional that you can find in our chapel. In St. Rose of Belmar, confessions are heard every Monday night in Lent at 7 pm. St. Elzabeth in Avon will have a special time for confession at 3 pm on April 10th. And, St. Denis in Manasquan will be having confessions on April 16th at 11 am and 6:30 pm. If none of those work for you, feel free to contact my office to make an appointment.
How do we prepare ourselves to go to confession? We first need to pray that the Holy Spirit may reveal to us our faults that we need to confess. Then, we ought to examine our conscience. The simplest way to do this is to think about the 10 Commandments and how we might have broken them. Once we know what sins we should confess, we are ready to go to confession.
How do we confess our sins in confession? We begin by saying, “Bless me Father for I have sinned,” and state how long it has been since your last confession. You then state your sins and let the priest know when you are done. He will then counsel you, ask questions if needed and give you prayers to say afterward. You then pray an act of contrition and he absolves you. If you need help with any of these steps, feel free to ask the priest and he should be perfectly willing to help you. (And if not, pray for him!) It is important to make sure you state all the grave sins you remember or else you may make the confession invalid. Do not be afraid of offending the priest by your sins. We really have heard just about everything and it is better to be forgiven of these sins than to let them weigh down your soul.
Can I go to a penance service where there is no individual confession and everyone is forgiven at the same time? This is known as General Absolution. Going to confession in this manner is a valid form of the sacrament only in times of emergency when it is impossible for the priest to hear everyone’s confessions. (Examples include during a plane crash, in an impending natural disaster or before a battle in wartime.) However, if it is not one of those extreme cases, Catholics are still required to go to confession individually to a priest. If you ever hear of a priest absolving a whole crowd without hearing individual confessions and it is not during an emergency situation, then it is an abuse of the sacrament and should be reported to the Diocese for further investigation.
God bless! and have a holy Lent!
Father Carter