Dear Parishioners,

There were two monks who were traveling together. One day on their journey, they had to cross a river. At the same time, a woman had to cross the river as well and asked the monks to help her. So, the one monk picked up the woman and carried her across the river. Then, they went their separate ways. The other monk was a bit annoyed at the first monk because, as monks, they took a vow of chastity and, in his opinion, touching a woman like that came very close to breaking that vow. So, he confronted his brother about this. To this criticism the first monk replied, “I carried this woman only across the river. You have been carrying her all day.”

The point of this story is that sometimes when we are critical of others, it does not get us anywhere in life. Our Lord says, “Why do you notice the splinter in your brother’s eye, but do not perceive the wooden beam in your own eye?” (Matthew 7:3) He exhorts us to pay attention to our own faults and misbehavior rather than dwelling on what other people are up to. Even if they are wrong, we cannot control others. We cannot make them better people through force of will or manipulation. Even more often, we can use the faults of others to excuse our own misdeeds.

In the case of the monks, the one monk did a charitable deed and did not care how it looked to others. (Sometimes doing what is right can be misunderstood.) The other monk chose to judge his brother and did not pay attention to the mitigating circumstances. (After all, abandoning the woman in her need would have been much worse than carrying her.) This judgmental attitude is a problem because as St. Mother Theresa teaches us, “If you judge people, you have no time to love them.” Sometimes we like to hold onto the sins of others because they make us feel justified. Or, it could be because we feel hurt and want to protect ourselves. However, holding onto grudges like this is most unhelpful in the spiritual life. They are burdens that weight us down and distract us from any real spiritual growth like increasing the love of God or neighbor. The Lord wants to free us from these burdens.

Jesus tells us, “If you forgive others their transgressions, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you do not forgive others, neither will your Father forgive your transgressions.” (Matthew 6:14-15) Even if it is hard to forgive someone, we are still called to do so. Because if we cannot forgive, we cannot love them. We are called to love even our enemies. This forgiveness can be extremely hard to do, especially if we feel hurt. However, by the grace of God all things are possible.

God bless,

Fr. Carter